For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind.

We before me!

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” ~Mohandas Gandhi

Today is a very poignant day for me. It marks the point in my life where I will now have spent more elapsed time on the Earth in mortality than our Saviour. At this point in his life he was experiencing first hand the worst humanity has to offer, and yet he remained true to his calling in atoning for the sins of all creation. He had spent the last three years performing his ministry to the Jews. He had Healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, cleansed lepers, made the lame to walk, he raised the dead, called Apostles, organized His Church to teach light and truth. Our Saviour willingly gave all of himself for us, his was an universally selfless existence. He offered the bread and water of life to all who would partake. He taught us what manner of men we are to be. “As I have loved you, love one another.”

I cannot help but think back over the past three years of my life. I dare not compare the details of my thirtieth through thirty-third years with those of the Saviour, but I think it fitting to compare some over arching themes. I have spent most of the past three years cocky and self-sure of my own destiny, the Saviour was humble praying always to the Father. I have sought my own, the Saviour offered himself completely. I placed my wants, desires, and pride above the well being of two families and countless friends, the Saviour’s humble commitment “Thy will, not mine be done.”

I finally realized I was wrong. To be honest I suppressed the part of me that was telling me I was acting in a less than appropriate manner. I became someone I didn’t want to be. I pressured others to act contrary to their own good sense as well. I felt no peace.

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I felt no peace.

The following scripture has been my companion over the past year or so. I have reflected on the words. I have pondered its meaning. I have wanted to share the epiphanies I have received. Something always held me back. Until now.

THE BOOK OF MOSIAH

CHAPTER 18

Verses 8-10

And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

I know we have all read, or heard of, this scripture passage. I must admit I had never before this past year spent much time thinking about what it meant. I read and understood the words at face value. I didn’t sound them for meaning, I didn’t find a place in me to liken them. My heart was shallow stony ground and the sprouted seed of understanding quickly dried up and was lost.

This may seem scattered but I want to share a couple thoughts that came to me.

Ego. I don’t have to be a hero. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to save any one. I don’t have to be more spiritual, more in tune, more holy than anyone. Fact is I have done more harm to others in my life in my prideful and vain yearning to be perfect. I feel at home in the “fold of God.” I want to be here. I misunderstood what was asked of me. I have felt a need to take away others pain, burdens and hard ships, and when I didn’t feel perfect I would do nothing. In this I erred, I was only trying to take away other agency. The Baptismal covenant never asks or demands we take away others experiences good or bad, just that we are there with each other full of a genuine love and concern for each other. I don’t have to take away anyone’s tears, I just have to lovingly comfort them. Life is full of a myriad of experiences some joyous, some painful. Everyone has the same God given right to experience life to its fullest and make their own way. My job is to lovingly serve them, to be my brothers keeper by bearing burdens, mourning, comforting, bearing my testimony, being a righteous example. The Gospel of Matthew explains this thought far better than I in saying “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” What I was missing is found in D&C 58 “Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.” I need to not be such a hypocrite, I clearly have had a beam in my own eye.

The verse from Matthew speaks of light, and of letting your light shine. Light is also mentioned in the baptismal covenant, “and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;” I have always read that as a physical reference as in many hands make light work, or thanks to the Elders Quorum for moving all my stuff. And in accepting that interpretation of the word and moving on I missed a great lesson. D&C 88:11 says”And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understandings;” Enlightenment and understanding can be taught and learned through bearing burdens. I would offer that our lives, mortality, are just a long line of burdens (learning opportunities). We have been given the sacred privilege as members of the Fold of God of bearing each others burdens, physically lightening the load, learning how to serve, even learning how to be served. Each thought, word, and action offered in loving compassion of another brings us closer to Christ. As I was preparing this section I went to the Church’s website. They have done AMAZING things with that website. Check out the music pages! I felt lead to “A poor wayfareing man of grief.” It might still be playing if you read fast. I have included the words of the hymn below. Try and read them, searching for the meaning and depth of the words, with out crying tears of loving gratitude for our Saviour. I couldn’t.

A poor, wayfaring Man of grief
Hath often crossed me on my way,
Who sued so humbly for relief
That I could never answer nay.
I had not pow’r to ask his name,
Whereto he went, or whence he came;
Yet there was something in his eye
That won my love; I knew not why.

Once, when my scanty meal was spread,
He entered; not a word he spake,
Just perishing for want of bread.
I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,
And ate, but gave me part again.
Mine was an angel’s portion then,
For while I fed with eager haste,
The crust was manna to my taste.

I spied him where a fountain burst
Clear from the rock; his strength was gone.
The heedless water mocked his thirst;
He heard it, saw it hurrying on.
I ran and raised the suff’rer up;
Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,
Dipped and returned it running o’er;
I drank and never thirsted more.

’Twas night; the floods were out; it blew
A winter hurricane aloof.
I heard his voice abroad and flew
To bid him welcome to my roof.
I warmed and clothed and cheered my guest
And laid him on my couch to rest,
Then made the earth my bed and seemed
In Eden’s garden while I dreamed.

Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,
I found him by the highway side.
I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,
Revived his spirit, and supplied
Wine, oil, refreshment—he was healed.
I had myself a wound concealed,
But from that hour forgot the smart,
And peace bound up my broken heart.

In pris’n I saw him next, condemned
To meet a traitor’s doom at morn.
The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,
And honored him ’mid shame and scorn.
My friendship’s utmost zeal to try,
He asked if I for him would die.
The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,
But my free spirit cried, “I will!”

Then in a moment to my view
The stranger started from disguise.
The tokens in his hands I knew;
The Savior stood before mine eyes.
He spake, and my poor name he named,
“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.
These deeds shall thy memorial be;
Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

At times in our lives we are the healer, or the healed. Each role gives us experience if we will learn. We all covenanted to bear each others burdens. We all covenanted to mourn with each other. We all covenanted to comfort each other. We all covenanted to stand as witnesses of Christ at all times, in all places, and in all things. We all covenanted to endure to the end. We all covenanted to do it together. We all covenanted to love one another.

I will leave you with a passage from Hebrews. It is important. It sums up everything of which I have offered testimony today.

THE EPISTLE OF PAUL THE APOSTLE TO THE
HEBREWS

CHAPTER 12

Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:

untitled

I have been concerned lately about my life. What is my purpose here in mortality? My Patriarchal blessing counsels me to "strive for perfection in my life." It promises me that through that perfection I will find happiness along with the Gospel. I have been striving for what I thought was perfection, or at least as close as I could find it, for the past few years. I fell prey to my own vanity and inflated sense of self worth. I missed or, more precisely, put off the next line in my Patriarchal blessing, "the main purpose is to be actively engaged in the Gospel plan..." I put off anything resembling active engagement. I have sense repented, seen the light and made a switch... But what do I do now? I love my Saviour. I love His Church. I love the scriptures and the people involved in His work. I also feel guilty as hell and quite hypocritical daring to offer my testimony. I feel so out of touch and unable to use my "example to accomplish the great goals" spoken in the same paragraph of my Patriarchal Blessing. Alma explains some of this to his son Corianton in Alma 42. V7. "...our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will." V10. "Therefore, as they had become carnal, sensual, and devilish by nature, this probationary state became a state for them to prepare; it became a preperatory state." I wish I had less experience with that side of human nature. Alma then goes on to explain in great clarity and plainness justice and its hold on man. I like the end of the chapter. V29,30. "And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you withthat trouble which shall bring you down into repentance. O my son, I desire that you should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility." I could stop there. Alma makes a very good point, but he goes on, and I think i need to hear what he has to say! V31. "And now, O my son, ye are called of God to preach the word unto this people. And now, my son, go thy way, declare the word with truth and soberness, that thou mayest bring sould unto repentance, that the great plan of mercy may have claim upon them. And may God grant unto you even according to my words. Amen."

Sound like Corianton was told that the "main purpose is to be actively engaged in the Gospel plan" as well.

Twinkle twinkle little star

Quick one this morning.

I couldn’t sleep this morning so I consulted the Book of Alma-ments, Chapter 42 verses 6 & 23.

Alma 42
6 But behold, it was appointed unto man to adie—therefore, as they were cut off from the tree of life they should be cut off from the face of the earth—and man became blost forever, yea, they became cfallen man.

Fallen man, what does that mean? Mortal? Yes. But how?

What came to e this morning is this. Fallen man is a reference to one of the three degrees of glory to be possessed by the sons of God. Fallen man finds himself in the Telestial glory. One in which physical and spiritual death have power. I know this is not the party line, I am just using these examples to work out a thought.

23 But God ceaseth not to be God, and amercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the batonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the cresurrection of the dead; and the dresurrection of the dead bringeth eback men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be fjudged according to their works, according to the law and justice.

This to me describes the terrestrial glory. Physical death has been conquered, we are now able to abide the physical presence of the Lord. Spiritual death still has power here as we can only abide his presence for the purposes of being judged.

The final degree of glory is the Celestial. Neither spiritual nor physical death has any power here. There is eternal increase. Eternal reversal of entropy.


...discuss...

You don't have to let it build a nest

I have not much of interest to offer this week, just a few stray thoughts.

1. The chosen generation*s*. Much ado is made about the youth of The Church being held back to come at this time of human history, as they are a choice and chosen generation. I know this was said about my generation, and now we are saying it about our children. How can there be two (or more) “chosen” generations? I consulted the scriptures and tried to liken a few other thoughts to this question.

* God the Father and Christ are eternal and unchanging.
* This Church is led by Christ.
* The programs and offices of The Church have changed, and are not the same as reestablished by Brother Joseph.

Why is this? I feel the answer to this is completely relevant to my original topic. We are told that we grow and progress in knowledge and ability line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little there a little. I also read this week in The Discourses of Brigham Young, that he refrained from requiring The Saints to obey one commandment; Love God. I don’t know if all of this speaks to the same issue as it does for me but I can’t help but see connections. We as Latter-Day Saints are not sufficiently prepared to live the higher law of the Gospel. We have been given a type of the Law of Moses to be a school master unto us. The programs and organization of The Church are modified from time to time to meet the unique needs of the world as the knowledge and ability of the Church and its’ member progress, line upon line.

So are we, as parents of these wonderful children, a chosen generation? I think we are. Are our children a more choice variety? I certainly hope so! We have been placed here on Earth to each do a specific body of work, to play a part in The Gospel Plan. Our parents and teachers prepared us, taught us, provided opportunities to grow and stand on our own testimony. The torch is now being past on to us! We are standing on the shoulders of giants. Now is the time to teach our children, and most importantly to guide them through life so that they know Christ personally and develop their own testimonies, that they become mighty in the Gospel. I cannot wait for our prophet to finally open the blessings that come from living a Celestial law. It will be through our and, in time, our children’s faith and labour that this great goal will come to pass. We know it can be done. Enoch and his city were able to live this law. It is possible.

2. I am also reading The collapse of complex societies right now. It is a very intriguing book. It got me thinking about the nature of human interaction, the books scope deals with groups of people and the forces affecting and means of problem solving utilized by them. I couldn’t help myself from comparing the text to one-on-one and small group interpersonal interaction. This might be gobledygook to the rest of you not having read the text spurring this thought. Oh well, the books cheap on Amazon.com, buy it, or ask me for it, I’ll be done with it in a week or so.

Each person with whom we form a connection adds to the complexity of our lives. Of course certain connections increase complexity more than others. Marriage introduces complexity in that your comfortable traditions and mannerisms have to be integrated with someone else’s. Children introduce complexity in that a majority of your free time (SHOULD BE) dedicated to the care, feeding and proper raising of offspring. School and jobs introduce complexity, Church, traffic, doctors’ offices, taxes, libraries, dmv’s, friends, parents, and political systems all introduce varying degrees of complexity into each and every one of our lives.

I feel that our lives are much too complex. Look at the break down of the family unit, more and more kids are being raised in a family situation where two parents are not in the home (in my opinion the best means of raising children and one that should be fought for tooth and nail is the two parent home). Look at the complexity these kids are having to learn to cope with so early in their lives. Bouncing from one parents home to the “other” parents home, learning to act with multiple sets of rules, expectations and limitations. My childhood was not ideal, but I am glad I didn’t have to live like that.

Look at the prevalence of anti-depressant and mood stabilizing/dampening drug prescriptions. I am looking at a report right now, available upon request, that shows the above mentioned category of drug prescription being more utilized than contraception prescriptions. (I stopped myself from going out on a tangent here, you should probably be thankful) Why are so many of us unable to cope with basic life? Why is the conventional wisdom simply to prescribe a pill as a coping mechanism in lieu of making the needed changes in our lives to find a tenable level of complexity?

The book describes great nations that break down into much smaller stable units over a very short period of time. I see the same dynamic among people. Marriages crumble, Parents are sent to nursing homes, friends move to Washington and are not spoken to in years (this one has bugged me for a very long time and I have yet to do anything about it), people stop believing in God…

So what is to be done? I wish I had more answers than questions on this one… Do we just all take pills to get through the day? Do we accept the fact that our faith in each other and God are weak and unstable creations? How do we make the changes necessary to form lasting strong foundations upon which eternal relationships can be built?
My thoughts are that we need to simplify our lives. The scriptures counsel us to not serve two masters. Matt. 6: 24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. We are all doing this every day. We need to reduce the number of masters and that will reduce the level of complexity in our lives. This will free us to be more stable and dare I say happier people.
Funny how the scriptures are still relevant to issues of this generation.

3. A year and a half ago I read the Book of Mormon during the month of December. It was an amazing experience and helped to is some measure to refocus my life. I wanted to read the New Testament next, it has been a year and a half and I, as of last Sunday during Sacrament meeting, read Galatians chapter 5. The whole chapter hit me like a 18 wheeler. I will only discuss vs. 13 through the end here.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
I am ashamed to admit that there are quite a few items under the “works of the flesh” category that I have either done outright or considered. I can assure you that it is quite impossible to be in possession of anything under the “fruit of the spirit” column when you are wrapped up in the works of the flesh. You become selfish, devilish, your thoughts become dark and uncaring. I know mine did. I think the reason this passage of scripture resonated within me with such force is that it is still a constant daily struggle to not let those dark feelings linger within me. Every day in my prayers I recommit myself to the Lord and pray that I might be led to opportunities to serve and love my fellow man. I strive to find ways to displace the evil within me with light and truth, with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. I am grateful to my Lord and God for chastising me; I know that I am not cast off. I know there is a way out of the pit, and I praise my Saviour for it! I love my Saviour and with each passing day I appreciate his roll in The Plan of Salvation more and more and acknowledge my complete and total reliance upon his Atonement.

* I do not mean to pass judgment on any person or people, or to call anyone evil or devilish other than myself, I would not dare to pass judgment on anyone.*

Nothing is better than unhealthy

It has been quite a week. Kaleb and Gregg, thank you for both offering great talks on Sunday. As it turns out both of your talks were a primer for emotional growth opportunities that have presented themselves to me this week. In this post I will be using these two fine brothers’ words with my ponderings and thoughts interjected as I will. If anything in here is profound it is probably from Gregg or Kaleb!

Gregg asked a couple questions that are, in my opinion, essential to a persons eternal growth and happiness. “Do you know who you are?” What makes me the person I am today? I make no apology for my faith Christ or for by belief in the truthfulness of the Plan of Salvation. Do I bring respect and honor to myself, my family, my Priesthood? An honest reflection and not being afraid or complacent in performing a self-inventory of the qualities of my personality that lead me towards or away from a life of respect and honor is essential. I am reminded of a favorite passage from a wonderful book, Le Petit Prince. “On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux." (It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye). There are so many distractions in life. I often find it hard to see exactly where I am and where I am going because life is relative to me, or I am relative to life around me. It is the classic physics example of relative motion. A guy on a glass walled train traveling moving at a high rate of speed drops a ball. To his perspective the ball falls straight down. To a stationary observer standing outside the train the path of the dropped ball is curved. My point is this, how can I, being the guy on the train, accurately describe either my motion (the status of my life) or the dropped balls motion (how I affect the lives of the people around me.)

As Gregg reminded me, we have been given The Gift of the Holy Ghost. Are we using it? How do we use it? How do we know when we feel it? The Holy Ghost is described as being a still small voice. It is up to us to make time for quiet reflection to be able to hear this still small voice. When we do this we will be filled with a desire to be better people and do more good. We will find strength to act on promptings received. We will work to build up the Kingdom of God on the earth.

Toward the end of Gregg’s talk I was impressed with the fact the Gregg found a moment of peace and quiet reflection in which he petitioned his Father in Heaven for help in preparing and presenting his talk. He then got to work and studied, put down his ideas, and organized his thoughts. It was in so doing that the Holy Ghost was able to work in Gregg’s life. Heavenly Father isn’t going to magically make life easy and give anyone a free ride. Gregg provided the motive force; he was anxiously engaged in a good cause. The Holy Ghost was able to prompt and make minor course changes in Gregg’s thoughts leading him to what would be of the most benefit for him and the Fort Apache ward.

Thank you Gregg!

Kaleb’s talk was on forgiveness. I was actually quiet amazed at how complimentary Kaleb’s talk was to Gregg’s. “We are better than we think we are.” So if we have some idea of who we are, guess what, we are better than that or have the potential to become such.

I am drawn back to my previous train, guy, ball, and observer example. Sometimes we are the guy (act / acted upon), sometimes we are the ball (acted upon). The train (course of life / ACT) is never fully under our control, it speeds up, slows down turns left or right. If we are observant maybe we can see changes in the train’s trajectory and plan for them. We can talk to the observer (Heavenly Father) outside the train to find out where we are really going and how to best position ourselves in the train to get the most out of the trip. Sometimes it happens that the ball is not gently dropped to the floor for the sole purpose to demonstrate a principle of physics, but is thrown roughly at the wall, or another passenger on the train. Maybe someone else throws a ball and hits us, maybe that ball hits someone we love. Maybe someone we love takes our treasured precious ball and treats it meanly. Point is mortal life is filled with a near endless supply of opportunity to be misused and to misuse others. As much as people think that bad things shouldn’t happen to good people, it’s just the cost of riding the train.

So what do you do when you are hit square in the head by someone else’s ball? Do you throw yours back at in retaliation. If you can’t find your ball do you grab someone else’s? Or do you take the uncommon option. Do you not retaliate? Do you forgive? “He that does not forgive has the greater sin!” Why is that? Well Kaleb offered an answer. “Hatred festers the soul; it makes it impossible to feel the spirit.” So if we are all bowed up angry with someone we lose contact with our Father in Heaven and we are left to our own devices… with a blindfold on. President Anderson then offered a story in which he was seriously offended by the actions of another. To his credit he followed the counsel of the scriptures and “prayed for them that despitefully use you.” By his own admission his prayers were initially insincere and done just because of his faith in the truthfulness of the scriptures. Over time a wonderful thing happened. A change came over Kaleb’s heart, not longer did he hate this individual, no longer was his heart filled with malice, but rather he was filled with fervent desire for this person’s well being.

Forgiveness may be one of the most difficult aspects of charity to acquire in this life. It may not be easy, but it is worth it!

Thank you Kaleb!

All of this reminded me of a passage from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.
“The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.” (Sun Tzu)

We cannot ensure an unassailable position by ourselves in this life. We can only humble ourselves and have faith in Christ and his plan. We have to decide who we are and who we want to become. We have to reach heavenward, and we have to stretch out our arms to those around us. We are all on this train together. We all started from different places but we can all share in the same blessings of the Gospel both in this life and those to come.

On changing a life:
You can’t go from reverse to forward with out passing through neutral. You can’t go from unhealthy to healthy with out being neither in between. It is only scary going into neutral until you realize you can’t move forward with out that necessary step.

Are you ready? ... you weren't ready...

Home Teaching is the Law of Moses of the Dispensation of the Fullness of Times.