I have been concerned lately about my life. What is my purpose here in mortality? My Patriarchal blessing counsels me to "strive for perfection in my life." It promises me that through that perfection I will find happiness along with the Gospel. I have been striving for what I thought was perfection, or at least as close as I could find it, for the past few years. I fell prey to my own vanity and inflated sense of self worth. I missed or, more precisely, put off the next line in my Patriarchal blessing, "the main purpose is to be actively engaged in the Gospel plan..." I put off anything resembling active engagement. I have sense repented, seen the light and made a switch... But what do I do now? I love my Saviour. I love His Church. I love the scriptures and the people involved in His work. I also feel guilty as hell and quite hypocritical daring to offer my testimony. I feel so out of touch and unable to use my "example to accomplish the great goals" spoken in the same paragraph of my Patriarchal Blessing. Alma explains some of this to his son Corianton in Alma 42. V7. "...our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will." V10. "Therefore, as they had become carnal, sensual, and devilish by nature, this probationary state became a state for them to prepare; it became a preperatory state." I wish I had less experience with that side of human nature. Alma then goes on to explain in great clarity and plainness justice and its hold on man. I like the end of the chapter. V29,30. "And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you withthat trouble which shall bring you down into repentance. O my son, I desire that you should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility." I could stop there. Alma makes a very good point, but he goes on, and I think i need to hear what he has to say! V31. "And now, O my son, ye are called of God to preach the word unto this people. And now, my son, go thy way, declare the word with truth and soberness, that thou mayest bring sould unto repentance, that the great plan of mercy may have claim upon them. And may God grant unto you even according to my words. Amen."
Sound like Corianton was told that the "main purpose is to be actively engaged in the Gospel plan" as well.
